How You Know You're Fighting Well

I think those who don't accept any fighting have been scarred by bad fighting, in the same way that people can be put off caring by bad relationships.

Honourable, good fighting is a backbone of building the things we love. Good relationships and caring have never been possible without it — without the protection it affords from harmful things.

The tradition addresses visible and invisible ills alike — often the invisible first. If those are fought well, we can sometimes prevent the more visible ones from forming.

Love and hate are flip sides of the same coin.

To do both well is the goal — not to shut one or the other down.

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Loving your enemies means to fight them well and respect them by doing so.

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You will know whether you're fighting well by whether you love and respect yourself more or less when you do it. If your self-respect increases, you are likely respecting your opponents (who may yet become friends) and fighting well. That is just the same as when you love well and the other person feels your care, and your self-respect increases from your mastery there.